HTLJ: King of Thieves Epilogue
by Arianna18
Summary: A curious Autolycus follows the two heroes after Iolaus is freed.


Autolycus watched them leave the castle and the village behind, covertly trailing them as they headed across the fields into the forest, wondering about them, about what made them tick. The little blond guy had jumped into the middle of an uneven fight without a second thought, just because it looked like someone innocent was in trouble. What an idiot! Who in their right mind took on odds like that for a stranger? Crazy, definitely one obol short of a dinar.

But, he'd hung around the village long enough to hear what that crazy little guy had done to survive…the impossible tasks of the rock press, surviving under water for longer than any normal man could…and the battle with the boar in the pit without getting a scratch. 'Now, those were skills that might be useful to have,' speculated the thief. Especially the bit about surviving under water. Could be a handy trick to throw off pursuers.

And the other one, Hercules, trailing him doggedly, unmasking him, racing him through the forest…saving his hide. Carrying him all the way back. All to save what? A friend? What kind of friend would inspire that kind of determination and loyalty? But, the demigod was also essentially an innocent, ingenuous, too trusting by half…easy to con. Too easy, maybe? Had the big guy known he was faking it? Would Hercules have really left him to face death for his thievery? The demigod seemed to feel a certain debt of gratitude for the gesture of going back after him to make sure he got away from the monstrous serpent… which was another subject entirely.

Distracted, the King of Thieves speculated about how he might get past that reject from Tartarus to get all those lovely jewels, and priceless artifacts. His face assumed a beatific expression of bliss as visions of the massive chamber of riches filled his mind, glittering gems, strings of pearls that were miles long, richly encrusted chalices, crowns, necklaces, bracelets, gauntlets and arm bands, rings and crowns, heaps and heaps of gold and silver just sitting there. All of it, just sitting there, gathering dust, doing no one any good when all that wealth could make him so very, very rich. The blissful look of having seen Nirvana collapsed into a frown as he stroked his mustache thoughtfully…but the serpent was a definite detractor. If he could just figure out a way to neutralize that monstrous slimy slitherer…hmm, have to think about that some more. The big guy's strength would definitely be an asset. Maybe he could be persuaded to lend a demigodly hand….

Coming back to the task at hand, Autolycus scanned the forest ahead, frowning when he realized he didn't see the two partners in lawfulness anywhere ahead. Stiffening, he wondered briefly where they'd disappeared to, when a well remembered voice commented quietly from behind his right shoulder, "It's a miracle…apparently at death's door one minute and out strolling around the forest the next."

The King of Thieves was ready to hit the trees, when the snicker from behind his left shoulder relaxed the tension of his muscles. Affecting a nonchalant manner, shrugging as if with no concern, Autolycus turned to face the two heroes who had so easily gotten the drop on him. These guys were good…too good.

"Well, imagine that, fancy meeting the two of you again, and so soon, too!" he said sardonically, one brow raised, as the rest of him remained poised for a speedy departure.

Iolaus stood with his arms crossed, trying to hold onto a frown. After all, this was the guy who had left him to face the wrath of the King for having stolen the royal gems…but, in fairness, it was also the guy who had come back to save his neck. Literally. But, only because Herc had forced him. Iolaus rolled his tongue into his cheek as he tried to decide whether to thank the guy or throttle him.

Hercules was also standing with his arms crossed, an amused expression on his face. He supposed he should drag the insouciant thief back to face justice, but the brand of justice back there had been just a little too final for the demigod's tastes. Besides, the thief had tried to help him when he could have run, and had stuck around long enough to clear Iolaus. If the authorities couldn't hang onto him, Hercules had decided it wasn't his problem. Not this time, anyway.

Shaking his head, Hercules loosened his arms and gesturing from one to the other, said, "I don't think the two of you have ever been properly introduced. Iolaus, this is Autolycus, the self proclaimed King of Thieves…and Autolycus, this is Iolaus, my partner and best friend."

"Soooo…your Mr. Fancypant's best friend. Funny, Hercules hardly mentioned you. Still, it's nice to meet you, Blondie," the irrepressible thief acknowledged with only the barest tinge of sarcasm.

"The pleasure is all yours," the hunter returned scathingly, not yet relenting. "You would have left me…"

"Hey, hey, Curly, no hard feelings!" Autolycus protested, raising his hands, "don't lose your head…oops, sorry, bad choice of words. The point is, I did come back to clear your good name."

"Hmm," Iolaus replied, giving him a skeptical look, "not because you had much choice."

Autolycus shrugged, "Well, it's not like I asked you to jump into a fight that was none of your business…."

But, the thief didn't have a chance to finish the thought, his words choked off as Iolaus reached out with the speed of a lunging lion to grab the collar of his green shirt, and raise him up to his toes, as he snarled, "You are a thief, a cheat and a charlatan…and I have a mind to…"

The hunter's furious commentary was also cut off as Hercules laid a calming hand on his shoulder, "But, he did clear your name…."

Loosening his grip, Iolaus snarled a begrudging, "Yeah…I guess."

Rolling his shoulders and straightening his green tunic, the King of Thieves sniffed, "Since that's as much of a 'thank you' as I'm likely to get from you…let me just say, 'you're welcome'."

When Iolaus' eyes narrowed and he growled low in his throat, the thief backed off a cautious step, unconsciously wiping nervous hands on his tunic as if trying to brush off the threat of bodily damage that he could read so clearly in the little guy's glare. "Well, if that's all, it's been nice seeing the two of you again and all that, but I should be on my way."

"Off to rob more innocent people?" the hunter challenged, belligerently.

"I prefer to think of it as liberating lovely things from those too pedestrian to appreciate them," the thief replied with offended dignity.

"Yeah, I'll bet," Iolaus replied, rolling his eyes.

Clearing his throat, Hercules inquired, "Why were you following us?"

"Following you?" repeated the thief with exaggerated self-defense, striking a pose of offended dignity. "If I had been following you, my good man, you'd never have known I was there. I can move with the silence of shadows, stealthy as the night stealing over the day…after all, I'm the King…"

"of Thieves. Yeah, so you've said," Hercules interjected dryly, shaking his head, cocking a brow, waiting for the truth. In the normal course of events, he could have waited a long time, but as it happened, Autolycus was willing to explain.

"Well, while I wasn't following you, I'm not unhappy to have encountered you again," the thief replied finally into the silence. "It occurred to me there might be some benefit to a temporary partnership, a sharing of skills, as it were…."

"Partnership?" Iolaus squeaked. "Like that would happen in a million years!"

"Well, then maybe you'd consider a million and one years," the thief taunted, upping the ante just that little bit, mostly 'cause he just couldn't resist.

Shaking his head, Hercules grinned with wry amusement. This guy didn't know when to quit…but if he wasn't careful, his quest for riches would be the death of him, and the demigod was surprised to find himself thinking that that would be a shame. Despite himself, he found something almost likeable about this so-called King of Thieves. "We're not going to help you get past the serpent…" Hercules replied, having rightly ascertained the thief's primary interest.

"And skills…what could you possibly teach us that would be any use?" Iolaus scoffed. "I was a better thief than you before my voice changed."

"No need to be insulting," Autolycus retorted, straightening to his full height so that he could sneer down his nose at the shorter man.

"Herc, why are we even talking to this guy?" Iolaus demanded, turning to face his partner. "He's an idiot."

Autolycus leveled a look at him then rolled his eyes. "Well, maybe I could teach you a few manners, not to mention give you both a few tips on how to be less trusting. You're both either idealistic saps or quixotic simpletons, you know that? Face it, guys, you need me to teach you a few lessons on how real life works."

"US? Idealistic? Quixotic?" Iolaus protested. "From what Hercules told me, you've got half the village thinking you're some glamorous defender of the poor and downtrodden."

Shaking his head, Autolycus turned his gaze to Hercules, as he said thoughtfully, "I don't get it…what is it about this guy that you had to trail me halfway across Greece to save his sorry hide. He's uncouth, ungrateful, insulting, jumps to conclusions, and not in the least bit amusing."

When Iolaus again lunged toward the thief, Hercules reached out a hand to hold him, a grin playing around his lips, amused in spite of himself by the guy who seemed to determined to provoke Iolaus into a fight. "You're not seeing him at his best…almost getting decapitated tends to irritate him, just a little. And, you're not helping. So, I repeat, why did you follow us?"

Sighing dramatically, the thief replied, "Well…I was thinking…"

"Did it hurt?" sniped Iolaus, shaking himself loose from Hercules' restraining grip on his arm.

Sniffing in disdain, but otherwise ignoring the rude comment, Autolycus turned back to Hercules, the light of the quest dancing in his eyes…or perhaps it was just the reflected glitter of all that wealth just begging to be picked up and carted away…as he continued in a cajoling voice, "We could go after all those lovely treasures together. Now that we know the serpent is there, we could figure out how to get around it…and we could all be very, very rich. Surely, as even as 'goody-goody' as the two of you are, you can't really object to being rich? Think about it for a minute! Just imagine all the wonderful things you could do with all the lovely dinars that ostentatious pile of gold and jewels would fetch!" Autolycus' eyes assumed a faraway look as he began to intone in a theatrical manner, "I can see it all now, the Hercules and Iolaus Home for Innocent Orphans and Wayward Waifs, the Merry Widow's Endowment Fund, homes for old and now helpless soldiers, worn out from battle, wounded and penniless, garbed only in their glory and honour…."

"Those 'treasures' belong to the gods," Hercules replied, cutting into what promised to be an endless patter of rapture about what all that wealth could do, if they had a chance of living to spend it. "And riches never did a dead man any good. Besides, money isn't everything."

"Well, if it isn't, I sure don't know what is," snorted the thief with undisguised disgust. Shrugging, he cast a woeful look at the two heroes, clearly unable to understand why they couldn't seem to share in his wondrous visions of what the future could hold for them if they just weren't so stodgy. Ah well, he was clearly wasting his time…but, then there weren't many, perhaps there weren't any, other people capable of his great grasp of what money could buy. "Can't blame a guy for trying," he said over his shoulder as he flew up into the trees, having sent his grappling hook flying in the blink of an eye. Before they could react, he'd disappeared into the greenery over head. "It's not everyday I offer to split a fortune!" his voice sounded from somewhere above, diminishing in volume as he moved rapidly away.

Hands on his hips, Iolaus looked up into the canopy of green. "Not much for long good-byes," he observed.

Scratching his head, Hercules replied, "No…that he isn't."

As the two heroes resumed their journey through the forest, Iolaus shook his head, muttering under his breath about thieves in general, and a certain green-garbed specimen in particular.

"He's not that bad," Hercules interjected, with a good-humoured chuckle.

"Not that bad!" Iolaus protested, turning to face his friend. "He stole from the King, left me to face the music, ran you a merry chase, took off again just when it seemed he was finally in custody and then shows up to ask us to take on a monster AND the gods, just to line his own pockets…not to mention his less than complimentary commentary on how 'trusting' we are, how 'quixotic' and 'idealistic'….."

But, Hercules cut his friend off as he looked up into the trees above them. "Yeah, I know. But, he must do something for those villagers to be so loyal to him…and he did clear you. And, he did come back to help me escape the serpent when he could have just taken off. I suspect there's more to Autolycus than even he'd admit."

"Besides over-weening pride, deplorable taste in clothes…." Iolaus groused.

Laughing as he cut his buddy a sidelong look at his own lack of sartorial splendor, Hercules continued, "Yeah, besides all that. I suspect, deep down, there's a half decent man under all the larceny…and, you have to admit, he's no coward."

Iolaus sniffed. "Deep down?" he repeated, shaking his head as he turned to resume his amble through the woods. "It's more likely that you're just imagining what you see in everyone, Hercules. The guy's a loser."

"Because he's a thief?" Hercules persisted, cocking his head. "I seem to recall someone else I know who…"

Raising his hands in surrender, Iolaus capitulated, "Alright, alright, I give up, have it your way. The guy's a hero, fine."

Chuckling, the demigod looped his arm around Iolaus' shoulders as he replied, "Well, maybe I wouldn't go quite that far. But, deep down, just like everyone else, he's got the potential to be hero."

Iolaus rolled his eyes, but forbore to comment. He couldn't. He knew Herc was right…anyone could be a hero if they chose to be.

Even Autolycus, the King of the Thieves.

Listening from the branches above, the subject of their discussion shook his head. Hopeless. The two of them were hopeless. Who in their right mind would want to be a hero? Ye gods, all that working up a sweat, risking your life, getting beat up, maybe even dying for a pack of strangers who wouldn't even thank you in the end for showing them that they lacked the same courage and honour, not to mention physical prowess as warriors? The thief snorted in mild derision, then sadly shook his head at their muddleheaded illusions.

Swinging through the trees in the opposite direction, Aulolycus thought about them, though. So, the big guy noticed he wasn't a coward…well, that was gratifying anyway. But, he frowned again when he considered their friendship, very evident partnership and ease with one another. Never having had a friend he could count on, the King of Thieves wondered what it would be like. Wondered how it would feel to not be so completely alone. Wondered what it must be like to know there was someone out there you knew would never let you down, no matter what.

Pushing the uncomfortable thought away, he consoled himself that at least he didn't have anyone to worry about or rescue when they got into trouble. Oh no, he was free as the air…and glad of it. Who needed friends anyway? They just got you into trouble, created problems, got in the way…no, better to be independent. Nope, no question about it…one of these days, one or the other of that daring duo, crazy do-gooders that they were, one of them would get the other one killed. And, then where would all their high-falutin' ideals be? In the dust, that's where.

Landing lightly on his feet, he twirled his mustache and straightened his shoulders as he strutted through the silent, darkening forest.

Who needed to be a hero, anyway?

He was the King of Thieves, the subject of song and legend, unique, one of a kind, daring and brilliant, dashing and dauntless…and proud of it.

Finis


End file.
